It's not easy
by TheOneThatIsAddictedToHPfics
Summary: Summary: Harry killed himself; every one wants to know why. Lucky he left an explanation… Very little mention of Slash, so short you'll miss it if you blink.


Disclaimer: It's mine! All Mine!! Muahahahahahahahaha… No, just kidding… **This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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I can't stand to fly

I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
I'm just out to find  
the better part of me

When they found the body of one Harry Potter, there were a lot of tears, confusion and grief, but most of all there was a sense of not knowing, they couldn't understand, why? Why did Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, do it? Why did he take his own life?

I'm more than a bird...I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face beside a train  
It's not easy to be me

And then they found the letter. The suicide letter. The one thing left in this world to explain, why? What have they done, what has happened to drive their savior, the one who finally after 17 years worth of fighting, defeated The Dark Lord Voldemort in his 7th and final year at Hogwarts School for witchcraft and wizardry, a mer month before, to commit suicide?

Wish that I could cry  
fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
about a home I'll never see

To every one I left behind,

I'm sorry, I truly am.

I'm not sorry for dying- and I really am not- but I am sorry for not saying goodbye to every one of you in person. You see, I knew that if you knew what I was about to do you would have tried to stop me, and I couldn't let you do that.

I never planed on surviving this war, I thought, no, I hoped to die with Voldemort, I have been praying for death since the summer before my 5th year, but I knew, I knew I was not to die, not yet any way, not until "Voldi" was dead and buried.

It may sound absurd...but don't be naive  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed...but won't you concede  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me

I'm sure you're wondering, why I did it, why I wanted so much to die, after all I'm the big bloody hero who has just defeated the big villain of the plot, but that's just it, you all saw me as the hero, The-Boy-Who-Lived, and not as Harry Potter, not as a friend, but as a way to get what you wanted (you thought I didn't know, but I knew, I always knew, there were just to many " coincidences" for it to actually be a coincidence), not as a student but as a pawn in a war, and finally, not as family but as an assignment.

Up, up and away...away from me  
It's all right...you can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy...or anything...

The wizarding world loved me at one moment, the next, trashed my name, and always expected way more than I could give.

You expected me to be perfect, good at quidich and have fun hanging out with friends.

_I was not allowed to shine too brightly in any class accept DADA, I __needed__ to date and fall madly in love with a girl from a prominent light family (preferably Ginny __Weasley), get married, have hundreds of little Harry and Ginny Potter and so on and so forth. _

____

I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
Men weren't meant to ride  
with clouds between their knees

_You never knew, that I was actually gay, yes, your precious hero liked man, and not any man, no, I was (still am) deeply and madly in love with Draco MALFOY, and you know something? He loved me back!! But I wasn't __allowed to love a malfoy right? We were together for a while, but, when he wanted to tell __everyone__ I broke it off, because __**I wasn't allowed**__. Stop crying for me, you and I both know your tears are nothing more then crocodile tears! You don't care for me, you never even knew me! Not that you even tried, I was your savior, nothing more, and you cost me the most important thing in my life… _____

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me  
Inside of me  
Inside me  
Yeah, inside me  
Inside of me

_You know what? You don't deserve my goodbye! You don't deserve my explanation! You need a reminder! I'm only human! I'm not perfect, I do feel pain, I am allowed to cry, to hurt, to fail, and to live! But you, you seem to forget, forget that I'm only a man and I think the name you gave me is wrong, I'm not_ _**The-Boy-Who-Lived**__, but The-Boy-Who-Never-Got-To-Live…_

_H. _____

I'm only a man  
in a funny red sheet  
I'm only a man  
looking for a dream

After reading the letter the people in the room were quiet, all in shock, no one knew what to say. "He was right you know." Everybody turned to look at the speaker, "What do you mean by that Remus?" asked Dumbledore.

"I mean, we never got to know Harry Potter, and for that I am deeply ashamed, but what's worse is, we forgot he was still only human, and a hero is still only a man who is entitled to live his own life and make mistakes, because that is what being human is all about" and with that Remus got out of his chair and out of the office, living behind a room full of people in shock. __

I'm only a man  
in a funny red sheet  
and it's not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

__

It's not easy to be me


End file.
